I love my mother though she’s deceased from here in body . It’s true the spirit lives on . I know for a fact, if I never believe in anything else in my life here on earth from this day forward . I know death now because of my mother’s death . I talked to her the day she died & kissed her, telling her “I love you and I’ll see her later” , then jokingly saying softly ” not too soon I hope ” but wanting to be with her at that moment cause she went forward without me looking peacefully like she was sleep with a smile .
I stood there next to her bedside holding her hand tearing , making no sound other than sniffling, blowing snot & snorkling sounds under my breath. I was in her room pacing & thinking is any part of her death my fault , wondering was there more I could have done to prolong her life . When you love hard the way I loved my mother ,I felt guilt & blamed as if ,what if , only if I had another chance to care for her, believing I could have forged her time another time longer than that day she died . It’s not a day go by after closing on three years I still have days I cry, as if she just died . I don’t know about anybody else , but I still hear her voice time to time to where I jump,then wide-eyed I look around & giggle saying
” is that you MAMA .