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Hitman sworn statment

Hello, I’m Waldo Plezeke. I was hired by a very high public figure/state official. It seems that this official as been laundering fund from the government. So I received an anonymous phone call, with a D.C. area code. I was sent instructions from a carrier, who I met at startbucks…and I received a payment of $250K. The remainder of the balance after the job was completed (another $250K).

I was also handed a photo of my target and was instructed where I was supposed to be in position. I thought it was a little unusual…but I figured since they’re paying so much, I’ll do it their way. I had no idea I was being set up. Then, I saw Sgt. Detective Bonk. I tried to abandon the mission and run, but two choppers were hovering around me and demanded I lay on the ground. When I was handcuffed, I was asked ” Why were you trying to kill the Burger King Owner?!” I just told them the truth. There was no way I’m getting out of this-” My instructions came from Godfather’s Pizza. BK is bad for the pizza business…so he needed to sleep with the Red Lobsters.”


for the KING b-day

Martin Luther King Jr. January 15, 1929-April 4, 1968

Was an american Clergyman, Activist, and prominent leader in the African-American Civil Rights Movement.

Now, you would think after all that he accomplished in this country, the fucking government would at least fix every street named after him! Why is it that every MLK Jr. St/BLVD, has potholes the length of the damn road. Whether it be 1 mile or 30 miles???! Not only that…they put every MLK street in the GHETTOEST neightborhood- crackhead, homeless people…negroes with honda accords with 34″ rims! Do you think this is what he invisioned?! Traffic lights are always out….lanes are about as wide as a lane on a field track. Tree limbs hanging over stop signs….SMH.

Come on AMERICA! Show some love. Fix all the roads named after the man!


I need patience!

I heard this many times, ” If patience was for sell, it wouldn’t NEVER be sold” I hate patience! That means I have to wait for shit. I need not to wait  on anything I can control…but I don’t control everything!…and i can’t figure out why…SHIT…i’m the got damn man… I think I just need the power to run this muthafucka!….u know…duhhh…the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…Cause my patience is PARTICULARLY a thing with these muthafuckas in government,damn delinquent bills.
These muthafuckas was happy as a fat bitch at a buffet, when my money helped them bail out all these damn executives & bankers. You need to give me my muthafucking money back BASTARDS!… I wan’t my shit back A.S.A.P!…Don’t make me go back to my old neighborhood and get my RAGHEAD styling scarf wearing homeboys & WRECK some shit up…i’m tired of waiting on what the fuck i want…& PATIENCE can kiss my BORN in the USA ass!


she’s a player

What woman do you know, loves to play ball against women….but perfer to be on a men’s team. Or she may even want to play against the men. Should she play with the same rules applied to her as the men? Should she be hand checked on the back, pushed in the chest, elbowed in the side…thrown on the ground, booty bumped from behind? Is this a place for a normal woman? Why she can’t just play with the women…there are a lot of women that love the game. But lets keep it real! Let the women play with women, and the men play with men.

I understand women wanting to be equal…but there’s a thin line between being equal & sexual harassment. You want to roll out with the penises…but when things get too masculine, some women are quick to point out the difference in gender. With certain things, there needs to be separation.


unblock me:iphone puzzle game

This damn game has swept the nation…An iphone game…Now everywhere you sit…In the doctor’s office, library, school, police station…It’s everywhere… This game is a quick fix…It’s a drug…Millions are hooked…I never play phone games… But this shit keeps callin my name day & nite…And others feel the same way… Let’s ban this game…LMAO..#kiddin…Makes you think!


New Year’s Resolution

So, heeeeeeeerrrre we go again! Everyone talking about what they are gonna do for the new year. Don’t get my wrong, it’s always good to see positive change…BUT COME ON NOW!!! You know your ass is talking the same bullshit you’ve been changing since you became an adult.
You want change, but all your ass do is talk about changing, but you procrastinate and never get around to doing the shit you say you’re going to do, to change your life. This isn’t a post to crush your dreams, or kill your thought of changing; it’s about motivating our jaw-jabbing & lip flapping ass to make some changes.  Learn to keep a promise to yourself, and do what the hell you say you’re gonna do.
Also, why do you have to choose the beginning of a new year to make a change? If you see something in your life that needs changing, don’t wait until January 1st to decided to do the shit…If you need to loose weight, Join a gym in March! If you want to eat healthy, stop using that damn EBT card at the chicken shack and go buy some fruit & veggies at the farmer’s market ( yes they take EBT at farmer’s markets.)  Do what you need to do, as soon as your goals roll off your lips. Don’t wait 12 months- because if you wait that long….the shit will never happen.
Oh, well…I’m done. Happy New Year anyway LOOSER…Sike!


whats that smell?

It’s funny how people smell something that stinks, Yet they can’t identify it until they actually see it (BUT…if it’s something that smells good, you can almost pinpoint exactly what it is.). As soon as you have a visual..you’re like ” OMG- who’s fucking stanking ass sock is this???!” Then you’ll have 10 dummies standing around and one of them has a sock missing, wiggling their stanking ass toes like it ain’t them. GUILTY AS CHARGED TO FUNK-FOOT ASS MUTHAFUCKA!  But you want to sit up and deny the fact that its your sock with the greenhouse gasses omitting from the toes. Somebody please round house kick this this fool for lying and polluting the damn house!


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