Where Anything Goes twitter/trashbaggage

Posts tagged ‘sexual intercourse’

“I don’t have to pay for sex!”

this older lady I know, got hit on at the bar. They conversed for a while..had a few more drinks on him.. went and got a hotel room and had great sex all night and morning..
Well..come to find out .. this incredible sexy man is a whore.. a paid whore.. a hoe…a prostitute ..
He gets up with the sun & starts getting dressed.. Told the nice lady “I’ll have your total shortly and I’ll be out of your way”
•_• “TOTAL?!..what do you mean by “total”?, what is it that I’m paying you for?”
Him: “well, I bought you approximately 5 drinks @ $15.00 a piece …& we had sexual intercourse and oral sex for approximately 7 hours , $15×4=$60.. Intercourse is $100×7= &$700 + oral is an extra $100.00, so your total is…. $860.00 =)”
Her: “OMG! You’re a WHORE!..I’m not paying you for sex! I don’t have to pay for sex”
Him: “oh, you do”
Her: “& if I don’t?”
Him: “you won’t make it outside this hotel, I come with a ……. “security guard”
Her: “I don’t have $860.00 worth of cash on me!”
Him: *pulls out iPhone* “it’s ok, I accept credit cards”
..she swipes her credit card, which left her balance at $320.00.. & guess who she had to call? Her husband to pay the rest… & had to explain why her “bill at a fancy restaurant, inside of a hotel..at 8 a.m in the morning, was $320.00 & why her “co-workers” weren’t there helping with the bill”…
Her: “just give me the cash”

Big belly, Lil meat?

I was thinking right.. if a man has a short penis and a large belly, how does one perform sexual activities?
I mean… I’m sure (or not) that giving him oral MAY NOT be a problem (but I really wouldn’t know) but how does he perform sexual intercourse? How does a woman “get on top” ? & what is she getting on top of? Penis or belly? Is she gonna have to fight with his belly to stay on top the whole time? Is his belly gonna be forcefully pushing her off of her spot? I mean, how does this work? ….& then.. If they do it “Doggy style”.. Where does he position his belly? On her back? Isn’t it heavy? Doesn’t this make doing the grown up kind of difficult? Doesn’t one with a super sized stomach require long meat? No? Oh ok

 

 

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