feeling like I should write it out since my emotions have become so strong..
I don’t know how I fell in love with this boy
but it’s been going on..
I always come to this anxious place on the inside
that’s difficult to control..
trying to pick and choose the right words to say to reach him
and make him feel what I say…
some of time I feel left on the outside..
when I’m not with him
It makes me wanna cry
sometimes I’d rather throw it all away..
just to feel “safe”
then I realize that ..
not even doing that..
will make these feelings go away..
because i love him..
It’s that time of year,people traveling from miles around the country to meet & greet each other again, new and familiar faces …That’s the thing about having reunions…You meet the family members and won’t remember them later ,speaking for myself and lots of you too. If you were to see them on the street the next day …They were strangers when they arrived & are still strangers & unknown to everyone next week and the next reunion, because nobody bond together long enough to know one another nor kept in touch to get closer to know each other better…Now,you right back where you all started ,strangers again. It’s the reasons for having FAMILY REUNIONS.
…everybody shouldn’t eat in public, some people has never learned any etiquette & no matter how hard you work @ teaching them table manners, they take no interest or pride in learning shit …It’s embarrassing how some people are when eating in a group setting… You have muhfuckas chewing & smacking with their mouths open,slopping like the pigs they are…I personally rather eat in private, then sit & watch a muhfucka eat CORN ON A COB.
” Let’s be friends ” she says… “Fuck that” I say …let’s take things slow, again I say ” Fuck that ” women speaks a different language with a whole different understanding… They’ll say ” let’s be friends ” Really they are saying, let’s just hangout & fuck, but lets not get serious yet. She’ll kiss you, grind on your dick and say she isn’t ready & say ” I have a surprise for you later ” Turns out, it’s a fucken complaint about why you act like you don’t care enough…when it’s been her doing the acting and faking nshit. The process of trying to get some pussy is crazy…You can’t figure them out, when they are talking GIRL TALK.
I’m tired of people asking did I see this & that …Muhfuckas always thinking you see everything they see from their perspective,It’s not that I wouldn’t try to see or understand what it is they want me to see… The problem is that,most of them ain’t talking about shit …I decided after trying to cope and deal with some of the most simplest folks trying to be sophisticated ,I can’t waste anymore time fucken with nonsense.Therefore I refuses to see into anything they want me to see …NO VISIBILITY.
I’m convinced that all of the food we eat is “toy food” just like the fast food restaurant’s food; the grocery store food is no different.
As I’m sautéing spinach last night/this morning, I was sayin to myself how I can’t get any green vegetable to taste how they used to when I was a kid, something has changed with the “feel” of all this food, especially vegetables, fruit, cereal & “juice”. I think they’re trying to malfunction our insides to the point it’s DNA altering, but I don’t wanna go too far here.
Anyhow, I finished cooking and made my dad & cousin a plate, my dad came in and started talking about how he had an organic banana and it was so good that it reminded him of the ones from when he was a kid, I said “oh, you noticed the change? I just said that while I was cooking that spinach. The whole time I’m trying to figure out why they want us to eat plastic, is it really plastic? And if not, WHAT is it? And why doesn’t anything taste the same anymore?”
I’m so tired of eating toy food
Maybe “organic” is the way to go, but at this point, I damn near don’t trust any of it until we stop pretending that things haven’t changed for the worse and speak up.
We can’t let people just do anything to us and keep acting like everything’s the same.
this is crazy.
I remembered The original downtown & flag brothers shoe store ,kings for men clothing store & woodys sporting goods selling Cross Country track shoes & Chuck Taylors for eight dollars. They were high tops & the added third color was Green years later…I’m so damn Compton,I remembered Blue chip stamps and big games @ Gonzales park playing and watching baseball inside the stadium…I’m really so Compton pushing a shopping cart for moms @ Sav-von super market …I’m so Compton, when Fruitown was hustlers before becoming Bloods & the girls was pretty & tough as boys…Lol.I’m so Compton when Dominguez Sr. high school was in Paramount, CA. …before the boundaries lines were moved into the city of Compton …I’m so Compton when weed had mostly stems and seeds for four fingers wide in a wax sandwich bag for five dollars …I’m so Compton when Rap music came & when Rasta Bob introduced Reggae music …And remembering when the Boys played the Girls dodge ball…I’m sure most of us can go on forever about the great & phenomenal memories growing up in the City of Compton …I know lots of you personally from being there all my life …I couldn’t never deny where it all began…It’s cool as fuck to be able to say ” I’M SO COMPTON.